been away far too long from this, i need to find a routine that does not revolve around my medication. the problem with a regime based on what pills i have to take is that once i have taken those pills I'm too zoned out to have a 'normal' life, and just as reality and me come together its time to take some more pills!!!

children at risk of abuse while in the care of social services

yesterday (14th March) we were at the family courts to see if we could be parents, once again for our children. we were going to show that the local authority had failed the children as much as we had in the beginning but that we had done what was asked of us and felt now was the time to ask the courts the question; are we good enough?

the short answer is no, in detail we were not allowed to show that the children had been put in a position were severe physical, emotional and sexual abuse was possible, we not allowed to use evidence from our direct contact with the children that showed a pattern of neglect by the social services over a six to twelve month period and in summing up the judge said that the local authority were not to blame for anything because they rectified their mistakes when they had discovered evidence of potential mistreatment (they knew something was wrong for the six to twelve months prior to their 'discovery' ).

i ask this question; since the local authority were aware of something not been right, they had reports from me and my girlfriend of bruises and cuts on at least one of the children nearly every contact and there was a report were the youngest claimed dad had hit him in the chest were the local authority to blame? or because the children survived that carer and were eventually moved they were not at fault in any way?

me personally i would rather have had the local authority take the blame for moving the children from that carer unnecessarily than be blamed for their death. we are fortunate that the children were moved but they suffered six to twelve months of emotional abuse, maybe physical abuse and i will not go were this is leading...

i will finish with this, the local authority only discovered the deciept of the carer when they had encouraged her to adopt these children. they found out that she was not a single mother but was in a relationship with a man the local authority knew nothing of. he had not been assessed as a suitable foster carer, he had spent many hours alone with the children (one girl and two boys all under 10 at the time) and he was living with the carer yet their was no evidence of his existance!

cheating social service

its happened again, the local authority and associated agencies are changing the rules at the last minute. when my children were put into care numerous issues were high-lighted as the cause for their removal. social services had a great time telling me and my partner what was wrong and yet they never offered to help. yes i admit there were issues but over this last seven and a half years me and my girlfriend have addressed and solved many of them.

so we go to the courts saying it is time to look at returning our children to us and we have invited the local authority and their associated cohorts to examine in detail all we have done, we are open and willing to be closely scrutinized. but now, now the people in charge are saying the children are emotionally damaged, suffering from numerous mental ailments and as such we are not capable of looking after them! now some might say we deserve it but that is not the point here... the point is we have done all they asked of us with out any support from the local authority and now its,

thats not enough.

how are any parents able to get their children back if they are always one step behind their children's needs?

haven't been here for a while. its not that i lead a sad and lonely life, its just damn hard and complicated! medication, mood swings athritic pain and the constant 'buzz' of head pain ... and the days gone by the time i manage it all.

back again and I am a little bit upset... seen the symphony for yorkshire? hearing it is okay in places, captures the modern yorkshire as well as some of its traditional sounds but the bloody video is a complete and utter travesty!!! makes no sense in places, doesnt depict my home town in any positive way and totally ignores what sheffield has given. yes it is about yorkshire but here in sheffield we have a lot to be proud of and none of that was portrayed in the video. i hope to never see that video again!!!

It has been a long time since i was here! not that i have an ectic lifestyle or anything. nor is it that i have little or nothing to rant and rave about, its just that life been what it is and me been somat of awkward so 'n so i havn't got round to this. things have happened, life has moved in SOME sort of direction and i suppose there is scope to write about it... BUT I JUST BLOODY CANNOT GET MY HEAD TO FIND THE MEMORIES OR THE RIGHT FUCKIN' WORDS TO ASSOCIATE WITH SAID MEMORIES WHEN I CAN RECALL THEM. I will try to sort my head out and co-ordination of hands and brain willing i will put something here sooner rather than later...

i am missing my kids!!!

this is an obvious statement, but behind it is a lot of pain and a deep desire to be with them. my daughter is having some trouble with the current carer and not only am i not able to do anything to help her, i am not allowed to be involved in any help for her! yet she wants her dad (ME) to help her and make it all okay.

life is a big pile of shit and i haven't got a snorkel long enough to allow me to breathe and get my thoughts sorted out.

it's late (or early depending on your point of view) and i cannot calm down, get into that relaxed, chilled, eventually sleepy mood and yet tomorrow i've got a busy day!!! my girlfriend cannot lift a fucking box, (it's man's work!) yet i have athritus (sorry 4 the spelling) and a spinal injury amongst other things and i had to move it!!! I AM NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!